Book: There Are No Giant Crabs in This Novel: A Novel of Giant Crabs (John Dies at the End, 5) by Jason Pargin
Reviewed by Halliday in the Books
Rating: 5/5
Once again, the entire universe is at risk. As always, John, Dave, and Amy are the only ones able to see the clues, let alone try to avert the crisis. You know, the usual. This time, our universe is caught in the middle of a massive war that has nothing to do with us yet. Two other realities have been at war over a third one for centuries. Or at least a quarter century (it depends how you measure). Their unimaginable turmoil is about to spread here. The only way to avoid our total annihilation is to take a side.
Both sides attempt to make a case for why our universe should want them to win. John, Dave, and Amy will have to be the ones to make the decision. However, the more they learn about the war and its opposing sides, the more convinced they are that we want nothing to do with any of it. They’ll have to find a way to either end the war or seal our universe away from it. If they don’t hurry, they won’t be able to stop the invasion. Then the only hope will be to turn the whole town to beans. Don’t ask; it’ll make sense when it needs to.
Meanwhile, there’s this maybe-alien creature named Snowball that they also need to take care of…
Readers who have been following this series will not be disappointed by this latest installment. It’s packed full of the same signature blend of horror, humor, and modern philosophy. If you’ve never read any of the prior books, that’s okay. They all stand on their own pretty well, this one included. If you have read the previous ones, then you’ll notice some Easter eggs along the way. Pargin has a way of describing scenes that will keep you up at night. Sometimes it’s from the graphic depictions of body horror or violence. Other times it’s grappling with the edges of your own morality. Then, with his next sentence, he’ll have you laughing out loud until you’re breathless.
The main characters are crude, and let’s say “semi-competent,” but they’re full of heart. They screw up occasionally, but when they know they’ve got it right, they’ll fight with everything they’ve got. They’re impossible not to root for, kind of like humanity as a whole. There’s also some great representation in the books. There’s an amputee in the main trio, and in the later books another of them tackles mental health issues head-on.
There will eventually be a sixth book in the series, though that will be at least a couple of years away still. In the meantime, there are now five books in this series. The first is John Dies at the End . Pargin also has the Zoey Ashe series, starting with Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits . That series will be getting a new release next year. He also released a standalone novel last year. He has long been on my list of auto-buy authors.